Have I been running to get fit, or has it been to escape from my troubles?
This week I ran my furthest distance so far!
9 weeks ago I could barely run 1 minute after another. The thought of even getting to a 5K was a distant dream.
I hit my 8K because I wasn’t paying attention. I went out with a route in mind and changed it on the fly. It turned out to be a lot further than I thought. Through the run, I felt great and didn’t once look at my watch. When I finally remembered to look, I’d hit 6K and was too far away from home to stop. I carried on, it wasn’t tough, it was liberating and had the most fun I’d had during any run.
On those days I run, I am my best, my most productive and my most positive.
On my rest days, it is completely the opposite.
I crave that feeling after a run. I assume it’s like an addiction. Maybe it is an addiction. Craving those endorphins.
At the moment I’m actively looking for work as my own business did not take off in the way I hoped. It’s been tough I won’t deny it, but I don’t want to dwell on it here either. But what I thought was an effort to get fit, may have taken a different turn.
Catching the Bug
When I thought I had caught that running bug, I was running further more often. Last week I ran 3 5K’s. I thought I was trying to push myself further and harder. But in hindsight, I think I was running to get out the house and away from the issues at hand. The longer the run, the less I have to consider my current situation. The freedom of running is akin to freedom from my life.
The odd thing is that after the run, after that rush, I’m at my best. I get applications done in quick time. I can write and think more concisely and for the rest of the day, I’m the best version of myself.
My rest days I’m lethargic, lazy and un-motivated.
So am I running for my fitness? Yes.
Am I running to escape? Yes.
Are you running to get a healthy mind? Yes and this is the most important thing.
The positive effect it has on my mental health is worth persuing. I need to learn how to get over the hump days and bring that energy with me. If I can’t run, I need to find something else that scratches that itch and makes me feel just as good.
Running has changed me over the past 2 months. I’d say for both good and bad, but the main thing is I’m learning. I might be running to escape from my troubles. But if I can focus that energy, use it positively and keep pushing forward, I’ll have less to run from.